Congratulations! to the lucky faculty winners of this year’s St. Patrick’s Day Limerick Writing Contest. Below is the list of faculty winners and their poems.
1st Place ($50.00 winner): “Dilemma” by Janice Hoffman
My faucet is all out of whack;
I have to call the plumber back,
but what shall I do?
I haven’t a clue—
I don’t want to see his bare crack!
2nd Place ($40.00 winner): “Her Heritage” by Rick Dollieslager
Lil Miley got blasted for twerking,
It’s some kind of sex dance, with jerking.
Her act is so bad,
If it weren’t for her dad,
Lil Miley wouldn’t even be working.
3rd Place ($30.00 winner): “Dancing Drunk,” by Janice Hoffman
There once was a man who would spin;
he’d dance, and he’d twirl, and he’d win,
but when he got drunk,
his salsa was sunk—
He just couldn’t handle his gin.
4th Place ($20.00 winner): “An Adjunct Went Out in the Snow,” by Jane Harrington
An adjunct went out in the snow,
Determined that class was a go.
His car hit a ditch
He said, “Man, what a . . . glitch.”
While the temp dropped to seven below.
5th Place ($10.00 winner): “Modern Fashion” by Brian Cooley
I once had a pair of blue jeans
That were coming apart at the seams
Till one day I bent
And heard a big rent
And inspired some internet memes